Wots Her Name Again? 
Damn, I am officially in my forties. Well, as of the 27th of November, I now feel in my late forties.
I remember when I was in primary school and used to think that by the time I reached 20, or even 18, I would have my life together with a husband, kids, dog and a house with a picket fence. Then once I got to my late teens or early ’20s, my aspirations got a lot more extravagant with a lifestyle that included travel, nights out on the town as a parade of romances and designer bags like the 30-somethings in sex in the city. Ah, those days were innocent, weren’t they?
Look at me; I’m now 40. Cough! I own my own home (Or do I mortgage?), am not in my dream job, am still single (perhaps chronically, who knows), and am a sassy dog mother. While the life successes of all my friends vary, with some being ahead or behind in their life than I could ever aspire to, I’m unsure about how I feel about my current position in life, what my aspirations are and even what I want my next steps to be.
However, I suppose it isn’t all bad. I have reached another year where that bitch Lupus hasn’t beaten me; I’m feeling slightly better about my decision to take an unpaid sabbatical from work to concentrate on my health and put thought into my long-term goals; I’ve got a great support network around me, I have a home, I have food, water, electric, clothes on my back and in some perspective, my health. Not exact;y winning the Lottery, and all my other ducks may not be in a row, but I want to appreciate all the other things I have in life because others may not be so lucky to have that.
While I understand that there is no need to pressure myself to be at a certain point in my life, I often have felt like I have fallen behind that place younger Lee-Anne thought she would be at this stage and don’t know that I have the energy or the enthusiasm to do a mad dash to get there. However but what I have learnt over the months and years is that I don’t want to sacrifice a work-life balance that won’t jeopardise my health balance to say I do XYZ to feel important when someone asks me what o do for a living; what car I drive to rock the latest designer handbag or fly first class in a cocoon (I do want to fly in a cocoon).
However, I love having the freedom to be with myself feeling my feelings and letting my body do what it does, and I’m nearly ok with that.
I will always choose to follow my pathway rather than feeling the pressure and need to follow somebody else’s just so I think I have my sh*t together.
But at the same time, I will still have my list of life goals I would like to achieve.
Yes, the title to this post is a question; however, I’m not looking for people to chime in with their opinions about if it’s ok to not have your sh*t together in your late Thirties or whatever age there are. Age is just a number; remember that.
I genuinely believe that life is for living. You should invest in beautiful experiences and learn as much as possible about yourself, travelling, meeting new friends, going ‘out-out’, discovering your values, making mistakes, discovering your sexuality and appreciating life.
So, guys, it’s ok not to have your sh*t together right now; enjoy being in your thirties, twenties, fifties, whatever, and you do things in your own time and at your own pace.
Love Life |Love Health | Love Beauty| Love CreativityÂ
Lee-Anne xÂ
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