Wots Her Name Again? 
It is no secret that the connections we make with others are very important. Whether it is the relationship with your family, the love of your life or simply with friends. Social life affects our health and happiness in a good way, but let us be clear I am talking about real social life and not about social media!
It is scientifically proven that friendships affect, and influence not only our way of living but also our habits.
Let us not forget the famous saying
“Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are”
At the same time, relationships can make us vulnerable. I am sure we can all admit that for the most part, we all want to be socially accepted, which leads to the possibility that we may let friends affect us in ways that are not in our best interests.
Exhausting and tricky friendships like these can be described as toxic friendships.
The older we get, the more complicated life inevitably gets making time precious, So with the work, bills, family, and the endless admin which comes with #adulting shouldn’t relationships be something you look forward to and cherish instead of another thing you simply have to do?
Do you have one (or more) of those difficult friends or family members that, you are always fighting with?
If so then perhaps it is time, to re-evaluate your relationships.
Personally, I am starting to find out for myself that if you have to try really hard to get along with each other or make things work, it’s probably it is time to call it quits because I am not 16 years old anymore.
Strangely enough, after saying goodbye to several toxic relationships, I could not justify why I previously devoted so much energy and time to people that I knew were bad for me.
I guess it is down to the individual to decide what they expect from their relationships, set boundaries for what behaviours they are willing to accept and what they would like to get from the relationship i.e. support encouragement
All I can say is the moment I took a step back from people who were bringing me down.
Let me say that if someone is a toxic friend to you it does not have to mean that they are a bad person. It could simply mean that there are unresolved issues that perhaps you can resolve with discussion.
If you are not sure if you have a toxic friendship, here are five signs you should look out for.
1. Unpredictable Relationships
We all have good and bad days and you cannot expect someone else to be there for you 365 days out of the year, we all have our own problems Nevertheless; we should be able to expect our friends to be with us in essential or hard situations.
For example, my mother passed last year and I was overwhelmed with the support I received from my friend some of which I have not seen in years.
2. Untrustworthy relationships
One of the essential aspects of any relationship or friendship is trust.
Crucial in any relationship. If you cannot trust your friend and always have to doubt something, this is not only bad for your friendship, but also for your own mental health!
Having to question the authenticity of everything someone says is exhausting!
Due to that reason, try to talk about it with your friend. Otherwise, the relationship could become. If you talked about it and there seems to be no solution, then seriously consider if you can really rely on that friend?
3. Unbalanced Relationships
My mother always taught me that in life, it is about giving and taking and you should not take something without giving. At the same time, it is important to be aware that sometimes people simply cannot give you the same amount back than the amount you gave them. It is important to keep that in mind, but in the end, you should not feel short-changed.
For a relationship to work, both parties also need to put effort into it. Whether it is emotional or practical support and most importantly, it should come from both sides.
4. Competitive Relationships
Don’t get me wrong, competition is good! It can help to motivate and inspire you to go that step further, unfortunately; many people cannot deal with competition, and they are caught up in jealousy.
If you have a friend, who is always competing with you and does not seem happy for you, then re-evaluate your friendship!
Your loved ones are supposed to support you and be happy for you when you achieve something great!
5. Insecure Relationships
It should be understood that your friends should accept you for who you are, this, however, does not mean they should not let you know if you are f#cking up.
There is a difference between wanting the best for you and not accepting you.
You defiantly should feel confident and secure in your relationships and if you don’t some thought should go into if the relationship should continue.
❖
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Lee-Anne x
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