It is no secret that the connections we make with others are very important, whether it is a relationship with your family, the love of your life, or simply with friends. Social life affects our health and happiness in a good way, but let us be clear: I am talking about real social life, not social media!
It is scientifically proven that friendships affect(How to identify Toxic Friendships /Relationships & When to quit them!) and influence not only our way of life but also our habits.

Let us not forget the famous saying

“Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are.”

At the same time, relationships can make us vulnerable. I am sure we can all admit that we want to be socially accepted for the most part, which leads to the possibility that we may let friends affect us in ways that are not in our best interests.

Exhausting and tricky friendships like these can be described as toxic friendships(How to identify Toxic Friendships /Relationships).
The older we get, the more complicated life inevitably gets, making time precious. So, with the work, bills, family, and the endless admin that comes with #adulting, shouldn’t relationships be something you look forward to and cherish instead of another thing you simply have to do?
Do you have one (or more) of those difficult friends or family members with whom you are constantly fighting?
If so, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your relationships.
Personally, I am starting to realize that if you have to work really hard to get along or make things work, it’s probably time to call it quits because I am not 16 years old anymore.
Strangely enough, after saying goodbye to several toxic relationships, I could not justify why I previously devoted so much energy and time to people that I knew were bad for me.

I guess it is down to the individual to decide what they expect from their relationships, set boundaries for what behaviours they are willing to accept and what they would like to get from the relationship, i.e. support and encouragement.
All I can say is when I took a step back from people who were bringing me down.
Let me say that if someone is a toxic friend to you, it does not have to mean that they are a terrible person. It could simply mean that there are unresolved issues that perhaps you can resolve with discussion.

How to identify Toxic Friendships /Relationships:

If you are unsure if you have a toxic friendship, here are five signs to look out for.

Unpredictable Relationships

We all have good and bad days and you cannot expect someone else to be there for you 365 days out of the year, we all have our own problems Nevertheless; we should be able to expect our friends to be with us in essential or hard situations.
For example, my mother passed last year and I was overwhelmed with the support I received from my friend some of which I have not seen in years.

Untrustworthy relationships

One of the essential aspects of any relationship or friendship is trust.
Crucial in any relationship. If you cannot trust your friend and always have doubts about something, this isn’t good for your friendship and your mental health!
It is exhausting to have to question the authenticity of everything someone says! (See also How to Identify Toxic Friendships /Relationships and When to Quit Them!)
For that reason, try to talk about it with your friend. Otherwise, the relationship could become. If you talk about it and there seems to be no solution, then seriously consider whether you can really rely on that friend.

Unbalanced Relationships

My mother always taught me that life is about giving and taking, and you should not take something without giving. At the same time, it is important to be aware that sometimes people simply cannot give you the same amount back as the amount you gave them. It is important to keep that in mind, but in the end, you should not feel short-changed(How to identify Toxic Friendships /Relationships & When to Quit Them!).
For a relationship to work, both parties need to put effort into it. Whether it is emotional or practical support, most importantly, it should come from both sides.

Competitive Relationships

Don’t get me wrong—competition is good! It can help motivate and inspire you to go that step further. Unfortunately, many people cannot deal with competition and are caught up in jealousy.
If you have a friend who constantly competes with you and does not seem happy for you, then reevaluate your friendship!
Your loved ones are supposed to support you and be happy for you when you achieve something incredible!

Insecure Relationships

It should be understood that your friends should accept you for who you are; this, however, does not mean they should not let you know if you are fcking up.
There is a difference between wanting the best for you and not accepting you().
You should definitely feel confident and secure in your relationships, and if you don’t, some thought should go into whether the relationship should continue.

❖

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Lee-Anne x

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