The Art Of Saying No: 7 Ways To Set Boundaries

Admittedly, I’ve always been a pleaser. It’s in my nature. But over the years, I’ve grown to believe that not saying no in situations has made me a pushover. At times, I can be the feistiest and, quite honestly, the bluntest woman I know. So why can’t I learn the art of saying no?

Is it because I’ll feel awful for saying no? Because I’m scared of the repercussions afterwards? Or because I don’t want to let anybody down? I’d say it’s a combination of all three. Funnily enough, I chatted about this subject with my work bestie the other day. We’re both people pleasers and struggle to say no when we should. There isn’t anything wrong with being a people pleaser, but you must know your limits and personal boundaries. I wouldn’t say yes to anyone who told me to jump off a cliff, so why can’t I say no to someone who needs to swap a work shift when I already have plans?

It may be how we’re brought up, or it could be a confidence thing. I like prioritising other people’s needs before my own; who knows? However, I want to learn to be more self-assertive and say no when necessary. It’s the best thing I can do to help my mental health and have more power over myself. Saying no is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of self-respect and empowerment.

After all, we all have our limits. I don’t want to be a pushover and let people walk all over me. It goes against everything I stand for. I tell my family and friends to say no when they should, so I call myself a hypocrite. I can’t even practice what I preach. How bad is that?

Art Of Saying No:

It’s not rude to say no, as long as it’s done gracefully, and if the other person is trying to be assertive, you be assertive back. As I said, I have my limits, and I’m not going to back down from saying no. It’s not that you and I are selfish for saying no, but we can’t say yes to everything that is asked of us. Remember, it’s okay to say no. You’re not being selfish; you’re taking care of yourself.

How can you say no politely?

There are different answers to saying no in any given situation. Here are some examples for you:

1) I’d love to help, but I need help.

2) This sounds like a lovely idea, but unfortunately, I can’t now.

3) I appreciate you asking me, but I can’t.

4) I wish I could, but I’m unavailable now.

5) I am not comfortable with that.

6) I know someone who can help you.

7) I can’t commit to that right now.

8) I have made other arrangements, but I appreciate your asking.

9) Thank you for thinking of me, but it’s impossible now.

10) Maybe another time.

11) I’m sorry, I can’t do that/make it.

12) I can’t take on any more responsibilities right now.

13) It’s not a good time for me right now.

14) I’m sorry, I’m busy.

There are many other ways to say no, but I hope these give you some inspiration or ways to say no.

I’m learning the art of saying no, and it is pretty freeing to say no to things these days. At first, it felt like an uncomfortable experience, especially as I felt I had to explain myself. I shouldn’t have to explain myself. I have my reasons for saying no; others should respect that and not ask questions. Or worse still, make you feel guilty/use emotional blackmail.

This post has inspired you to start saying no to situations that make you feel uncomfortable or when you don’t want to do something. It’s time to take control of your life and start saying no when necessary. You’ll be surprised at how liberating it can be.

How are you at saying no? Is it something you need to do more often? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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